How To Dust A Lampshade

Photo courtesy Flickr

On a long drive home from a ladies’ lunch, the hostess and I caught up on what we’d been doing for the last twenty-eight years. I’d mentioned to Betsy that I blog about housekeeping, and she brought up a lampshade that’s been bugging her every time she walks past because it needs dusting.

Here’s how to dust a lampshade without making more work than you’re doing already: first, dust when you’re well rested, second, set up a HEPA air filter to capture the dust, third, use state of the art cleaning tools. It took me nearly half an hour to say that, and the details follow.

Most of the damage to inventory happens when it’s being cleaned. The National Trust Manual of Housekeeping is England’s operating manual for the stately homes that are now the property of the nation, and this tip comes from the horse’s mouth. When a housekeeper is handling a vase worth $70,000, technique is important. The manual makes obvious the connection between housekeeping and running a museum.

Professional cleaners use the concept of diluting dirt. You can never eliminate all of it-the idea is to dilute it as much as is realistic for a domestic environment. I have learned that HEPA filtration is the key to the mint: I might just as well skip cleaning rather than do so without a voracious filter. The idea is to vacuum the air as well as the floor.

According to housekeeping guru Don Aslett, former chief janitor for the Bell System, ninety-seven percent of the dirt in a house comes in on shoes, so set up a seat in the entry for changing footgear. This one modification cut my cleaning time from three hours a week to half an hour. With the high-tech changes outlined below, I now clean for half an hour every two or three weeks.

Even subtle dust on shoes rather than obvious sand and dirt clods abrades floor finishes and works its way into carpets, severing fibers over time and establishing a filthy base in a room. In the Middle Ages, hall houses had dirt floors covered with rushes. When things grew unbearable from spittle, bones, and other waste, a new layer of rushes was laid over the first one. The floor was called “the marsh”, and unfortunately, in a Western house, much of that custom survives, even to the reed matting that is called sea grass. The Japanese have it right with their “getabako”, or sandal-bench, at the entry.

Dislodge dust with an effective tool that won’t destroy the surface you’re trying to clean. The nylon-bristled brush that comes with a new vacuum is far too abrasive to use on fabric. I use mine to scrub a porous old bathtub when it’s really far gone. Vacuums used to come with elegant natural bristle brushes, and for those I substitute a natural bristle photographer’s equipment dusting brush (like a shaving brush on steroids), a small natural bristle currying brush (that’s a comfortable fit for my hand) from a tack store, and a cheap disposable hog bristle brush. A fanatic will tape the ferrules of these brushes with adhesive or gaffer’s tape to protect wood and other fragile surfaces. Use them to detail carved wood, picture frames, and upholstery.

Remove the shade from the lamp. Replace the finial on the harp so it won’t get lost. Turn the shade upside down to remove dust rather than driving it into the fabric. Set up a freestanding HEPA air filter nearby and remove attachments from the vacuum hose. Turn the vacuum on to gentle suction and set the hose close to the shade. Tap the shade gently a couple of times to dislodge surface dust and then brush it against the direction in which the dust settled to get it clean, all the while capturing dust with the vacuum and air filter.

One of the major housekeeping mail order catalogues sells “Miraculous” Cleaning Cloths made of micro-fiber terry cloth. As far as I know, these represent state of the art Japanese computer clean-room technology, and they are the best cleaning cloths I have found, bar none. They last for many years. A friend gave me my first package of these cloths, and when I ordered more, the phone rep said they’re like an ultra-fine steel wool, subtly abrasive in a way that replaces cleaning solutions in many situations.

If you have one of these cloths, finish the shade by dusting it against the direction of settling, detailing the brass wires and the lamp itself, and wetting the cloth to wipe down a cool light bulb. A clean light bulb casts clean light. Innkeepers and commercial property managers find it efficient to change all the light bulbs once a year.

It’s not easy to find a first-quality lampshade, and it’s not cheap to buy one, but a good lampshade is the most cost-effective investment in home furnishings I have found, bar none. Seattle has a specialist shade shop that’s worth a short trek north. Their advice has been invaluable in restoring my old house and bringing vintage furnishings into play.

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